or "the tale of when I woke up to a dragon in my living room..."
Ever since returning from our big Scandinavia trip, which I still want to blog about as well, I have been in a bit of a creative rut. Really, I simply didn't find the time to sit down and write. Not because I was busy enjoying the summer, not because I am working on some time invasive awesome new project, not because I did any home improvements. Simply because, one morning I woke up and my little girl was a toddler.
Now I had heard stories about life with a toddler. I had witnessed children lying on the floor at the supermarket. And when my neighbor moaned about the "terrible twos" I secretly swore myself that I would never use the word "terrible" in connection with my own child.
Now, however, I'm sharing my living space with my very own "enfant terrible". And it is, time consuming, to say the least. My days are full of small battles with my toddler girl, and topped with my own constant battle of "which rules do I really care about and want to enforce, and which ones, I can let go in face of a free, creative childhood?".
Smilla is particularly strong wild, stubborn and insistent. She can keep easily keep up a pouty face for 30 minutes. She will try anything to push her will, including screaming, shoving, and unfortunately the occasional hitting. The saying "She is my wild" took on a whole new meaning in our house. My little darling, the one that is incredibly kind, unbelievably humorous, and wonderfully sweet, can also be, well, a dragon. Surely, the sweetest dragon ever to exist, but still.
Being the mother of a toddler I come to find, is to constantly be either on top of the world, or in the depths of despair. She will make my heart burst with joy and pride. And she will bring me to tears. Sometimes, only 5 minutes from each other.
Why am I writing all this? Surely, to get it off my chest. To admit, that I thought this stage might be easier. More importantly though, as a message of encouragement. It is just a phase. It is just a few months, a few years. It is, despite all the heartbreaks and tantrums, a time of adventure, exploration and discovery. A time for love and a time for laughter. And if you had to take a deep breath this morning, because your house looked like a hurricane came through; or you turned red with embarrassment, because your little one screamed bloody murder at the cafe; even if you shed a tear today, because you weren't quite sure anymore who this little person in front of you is - remember this: this little one loves you. You are the mama bear, the unsung hero, the lap that comforts, the hand that calms, the voice that soothes and the lips that kiss it all better. And even though, you are not always sure if you are doing the right thing, you are surely doing the best that you can.