Our beautiful home birth...one year ago

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new
— Rajneesh

Tonight is the evening that marks one year since the night that I put all my strength forth and labored our beautiful baby girl. This is our birth video. 

It also happens to be a home birth story. Let me add here, that where and how you plan to give birth is a truly personal choice (where and how you actually give birth is a whole other story entirely). Truman and I opted to welcome our child in the comfort of our own home with a midwife we came to trust and love. Really, one of the most important people we have probably ever met. We had told only very few people about our decision to try labor at home, as we wanted to protect ourselves from negative energies and pessimistic advice. 

I don't know if it was over-confidence, or simply naivety, but I never doubted once, that I will be able to birth this child on my own. I think, whatever birth you choose, you have to enter with full trust in your own abilities and those of your child. There is no room for fear. If things do go wrong, as they always can, you need to find a place in your heart to quickly say goodbye to the birth you hoped for and be open to the birth that will be. But until then, believe deeply, that you as a woman, and your partner, as the child's father, can do this!

Tonight I am feeling sentimental, as I remember all the beauty, love and excitement I felt exactly one year ago. Around this time a night I was already quietly breathing through the pain. One contraction, one wave of pain, after another. 

This is how life works: I remember the excitement going into labor. I remember the burning sensation of crowning and the tremendous relief the moment she came out. I remember the wonder and astonishment over this tiny, wet being in front of me and I remember the love that flushed over me as I picked her up and put her to my chest. However, I don't remember any of the pain in between. Memory works ever so gently. 

Words, I find, don't do any beautiful experience like ours justice. Videos I'm sure, don't either. But they definitely do a better job at it. So here's our video for you to enjoy. Filmed by the talented videographer, mother of four and dear friend Tiffany Hudson. 

For those of you that are about to give birth or just found out you are expecting: Keep an open mind and a brave heart when it comes to birth.

In the meantime, I recommend you read the following books:

"Ina May's guide to childbirth" - by Ina May Gaskin

"The birth partner" - by Penny Simkin

Please feel free to always get in touch with me to talk about birth and why I chose a home homebirth. I would love it if you shared some feelings about your own experiences in the comment section below. 

One year ago, I labored through the night only to find the world has changed forever in the morning.